"Bet Your Bottom Dollar Tomorrow ..."

So it's finally here, the big day, tomorrow morning at 7AM I will be leaving my house, the home I have lived in for 16 years alongside my mum, dad, brother and all my friends, to go to Liverpool. I knew I'd have to move away when I got the call, but sitting here tonight, reminiscing with friends, laughing and joking, sharing the memories, has made me realise that I am actually moving away, leaving it all behind, to start over somewhere totally new and different. I am as excited as a kid at christmas, I don't feel scared or nervous strangely, just overwhelmed with excitement. Its the biggest opportunity thats ever been put in front of me, ever. I intend to grab it by the horns, hit it with my best shot and ride the train as far as it'll take me!

I am feeling very mixed right now, but for all the best reasons, things don't get much better than this, so lets roll with it guys!

As for my best friends, they know who they are so I wont list names, but they are the people that have been with me since day one and never left my side, they are the people that never let you down, never turn a blind eye or a deaf ear. They are the people who stay up till 6AM going fucking mental tearing up my garage to The Gallows and Shikari, they are the people that take multiple blows to the head, smash faces on radiators and smash legs through bed frames, just cos they can! They are the people that I have spent the last god knows how many years with, having the time of my god damn life! Thankyou to those people, I couldn't ever forget you, I love you all so much =D

I love her and she knows who she is =] she makes everything just more smiley and fun, she's brilliant, perfect and very much a best friend =D I will always love her, and I'm definitely taking her to the BAFTA's ;) I Love You x

Ears Pinned,

Eyes Peeled,

JackTheLad!

Peace Out Folks

Stay Cool

"What Time Is It? ... "

Time seems to be the biggest component in my current state of being. Time waiting to hear very important things that are going to have big effects on me. Time waiting for her to stop dragging me down and just move on from it. Time waiting for the right person to come along and make me so happy. Time waiting, wondering why? Time waiting around for what could be nothing. Time planning my next step. Time planning the now and the then. Time planning the right here today. Time well spent, is time invested I believe. If it was worth devoting your time and effort to, then it is a worth while cause even if only to you, it is still worth while.

Time is precious, or so I'm told. I put a lot of time into many different things in my life, some of which pay off, some of which don't, some of which I find myself pouring constant effort and time into and sitting waiting for some kind of benefit and getting nothing, not a no, not a yes, just a pure nothing, which leaves me ever wondering.

On Sunday I will be making the biggest step yet, moving to Liverpool to begin the filming of the new BBC drama I have landed a role in. Although I am overwhelmed with excitement =D, I also feel like I'm leaving so much unknown, undecided, unanswered things that I really don't feel I can leave without knowing. This weekend is my last chance to get those answers but I feel like if I make the moves to get the answers I need it will make the situations much worse and right before I'm leaving for a very long time and that's not how I wont to leave things. Time is of the essence people. Time waits for no man. Time is the one gift no one can give or receive. Time is oh so precious. Time.

Time for bed I think

Time people, think about it ;)

Ears Pinned, Eyes Peeled

Peace Out!

JackTheLad!

"And This Will Be Known As The Best Day Of My Life..."

Today I received a phone call, informing me that I landed the part! =D

I will be moving, in 10 days, to Liverpool until January 2010 and maybe longer! This is the biggest opportunity of my life so far, and i couldn't be more excited =D.

Everything is going to change, everything that is normal, OUT THE WINDOW! But it doesn't scare me one bit, I'm completely and utterly grabbing the chance by the horns and riding it as far as it will take me. What will come from this? Who knows, right now I don't care. Im just going to enjoy the journey and the experience and see what happens come January =].

After such an intense week sitting, waiting, wondering, head spinning, today is a huge relief as well as some of the best news i've ever received!

I Couldn't Be More Excited!

So For Now, Sit Tight, Baited Breathed And Watch It All Happen

Ears Pinned, Eyes Peeled.

JackTheLad!

Tonight I sit here, my mind is racing, yet completely still. Im in the weirdest most indescribable mood, I cant keep my mind on any track, I sit to think, but my mind is blank, but still filled.

I am waiting on the verdict of the biggest decision in my life, a decision which doesn't even lay in my hands. Its in the hands of someone who knows nothing about me, cares nothing about me, to them I am merely a face with a name. They sit with the capability to change my entire world in a day, yet they don't have any idea how big an effect their decision will have on my life.

It will change everything, packing up and moving from everything that is normal in my life right now. Up and leave everyone, in a days notice. For a week, that i could handle, but for half a year is quite different. However much it scares me and however much I think what a huge deal it is to me, my family and my friends. I feel I need it, I need the change, the new, the different, the brilliant. The idea of going back to college is not appealing to me at all, after such a long, fantastic summer, ending with this opportunity of a big chance, I have convinced myself that I wont be returning to college and that idea is really working for me and my mind. College seems old and stale, I need something fresh, something which could bring so much more to my life than college is offering. I don't want the pressure of college and auditioning for drama schools that I have no interest in going to. Its hassle I just don't need in my life.

The fact I have no one to talk to about it helps no end. People offer out their ears, tell me they care and then have no time what so ever to hear me. I don't like moaning or pushing my problems on people, which is why I very rarely do, but when I'm everybody's "go to" guy for talking out their problems, I feel it isn't out of line for me to expect an ear in return. If I am expecting too much and I am in the wrong, then I apologize for sounding like a selfish, winging, idiot. I don't even need someone to take upon themselves the burden of all my problems, because I barely consider this situation a problem, just an issue playing on my mind that I need to talk out with someone, you know, just lay it all on the table and get it out of my mind, clear my head. But apparently thats too much to ask from so called "friends". Story of my life really.

Well the clock is ticking on my sanity, I will once again sit waiting on that phone call to tell me whether or not my life will completely change come friday. Who knows, my fingers are crossed and my mind is muddled.

I will wait it out another day

This is end of my very rare call for help, thank you for hearing me out,

Ears Pinned, Eyes Peeled

JackTheLad!

Mr McVities?!?!

"Because When No One Sees It Coming, Its 10000 Times Funnier!"

When Webcam Goes, Oh So Right =D

"Because Best Friends Are Far More Entertaining With Ridiculously Weird Pin Heads"

"I think of the one that I've become.
Left blind from the brightness of your Halo.
No one shines, like you do."

The Beauty In The Background

"Because When Having Your Best Friend Right In Your Face Isn't Enough .. Another Is Always Lurking Right Behind ;)"

Because 3 Cans Of Hairspray Just Isn't Enough!

"Nothing Like A Good Chocolate Shake Between Friends =D!"

My Motley Crue!

"Because Nothing Else Matters, When This Is Your Forever."

While We Lay Bruised And Bloody, Stay Fist In Fist, Never Surrender! Cos The Unity Will Heal Any Wound And Beat Any Foe.

The feeling of being part of a group, a set, a complete unit that I know would stand by my side outnumbered 20 to 5 just so when we were beat we'd be beat together. That feeling is what gets me going, makes me able to stand up and question, never back off, argue my case and not worry for if i cause upset to someone who doesn't like being opposed. "In the hustle and the bustle, I feel I'm in trouble and I trip and then I stumble, I feel myself fall. In the hustle and the bustle, its too rough, I tumble into the gravel and the rubble, can you hear me call?" These lyrics are so fitting to the point I am making when I talk about the unity that me and my closest friends have. If I am anywhere in the world; face down in the dirt, taking a beating, in a bad way with some worse people, at the bottom of the bottom, the one thing I will have safe in my knowledge is that if i look to my left, I will see Manny's face looking back at me, if I look right ill see Nicks, I will see Denny's and Blair's and Stowers' and Hamster's, because thats who we all are. Any problem, issue, riot or chase, we are all in it together, die for each other but most of all we live for each other!

I'd take bullets, punches, kicks and lashings for any of the others because after any pain I went through I could say it was not in vein, I could lay in a hospital bed after the worst of the worst and say I did it, I did it for them, stood strong facing many, stood together facing any, stood together regardless, stood together, shouted together, fought together, no matter what, we did it together!

My friends are the most important thing in the world to me and without them id be nothing, they are my rock, my sword and my shield, they are everything and for that, I thank them, because of them I am who I am today, and always will be who I am, with them by my side

Never Surrender!

Kings & Queens

Just bought Jamie T's long awaited new album! Fantastic!

He never fails to impress with his great mix of pulse racing indie, old london punk, trouble making, catchy as swine, excellence!

The single Sticks 'N' Stones is a song i've had for a while now and judging by that i had high hopes for the new album, and i can safely say i have not been disappointed. Sticks 'N' Stones was the song of my summer, running down the roads, tearing it up, slip n slide in the sunshine, road trips, creek jumping, causing a problem and laughing for weeks after until the next session!

When there's no one left to fight
Boys like him don't shine so bright,
Soon as I see the dust settle
He's out on the town tryin' to find trouble.
When there's no one left to fight
boys like him don't shine so bright,
Soon as I see the dust settle
He's out on the town tryin' to find trouble.

I take a train again away from shame
And blame a city pained to see
a friend I hadn't seen since I was drinking underage.
I was a ten a day, how'd you say, little shit
White lightning, heightening all my courage, quick wit.
We wore checkered season wallabies
buttoned shirts and whiskey
mutton dressed as lamb a fan of bands
like The Jam Jam Jam Jam,
I don't know who I am, he said I dunno if I can
I said yeah man, you can-can.

When there's no one left to fight
boys like him don't shine so bright,
Soon as I see the dust settle
he's out on the town tryin' to find trouble.
When there's no one left to fight
boys like him don't shine so bright,
Soon as I see the dust settle
he's out on the town tryin' to find trouble.

Drunk and being sick, I feel like shit
I gotta quit I hope I haven't missed the last train
Gonna be stuck in Hampton Wick,
With the boys across the platform
Shouting "lightweight prick!"
I'm a featherweight champion, cheap to get pissed
wish Candy were here with me, she'd deffa deal with it
tell 'em all to shut their mouths and go suck their mommas dicks
coz she ain't no she ain't that low, three fingers down
or the other two up, and I'll sing this proud.

Runnin' with believers, go time for fever
and I haven't got time for you either
with your sticks n' stones, sticks n' stones
I take 'em home on my own.
Runnin' with believers, go time for fever
and I haven't got time for you either
with your sticks n' stones, sticks n' stones
I take 'em home on my own.

As I travel down the track all my memories flood back.
We were runnin' at ease from enemies
and rushed back to your momma's flat
it's the only place but home I feel relaxed enough to crap
I know it sounds crude, but there's something in that.
How's danny doin'? Hear he's high flyin' and that
stockbroker in the city with a lady and a baby.
And Fee, is she free from the demons she had
Was it two months clean, routine to relapse.

Runnin' with believers, go time for fever
and I haven't got time for you either
with your sticks n' stones, sticks n' stones
I take 'em home on my own.
Runnin' with believers, go time for fever
and I haven't got time for you either
with your sticks n' stones, sticks n' stones
I take 'em home on my own.

She smoked all of your weed
that's why the loved ones out to leave,
Why when you take the lead they stab you in the back
'till you can't breathe, When you're bleeding on the floor
and no one hears your call at all
she screamed out to the party
you are sheeps and cattle

I was hanging out with Louie in the shooting gallery
when the news got through to me about you and Jeremy.
Pat on my back, and a swig on my brew
you're still my friend, it's impossible to hate you.
Cradle to the grave, I know we always misbehave
people latch down and then they rain on our parade.
Girls we love leave when we want them to stay
like today, remember, what shall we say?

When there's no one left to fight
boys like us don't shine so bright,
Soon as I see the dust settle
let's go out and find some trouble!

Runnin' with believers, go time for fever
and I haven't got time for you either
with your sticks n' stones, sticks n' stones
I take 'em home on my own

Runnin' with believers, go time for fever
and I haven't got time for you either
with your sticks n' stones, sticks n' stones
I take 'em home on my own

Runnin' with believers, go time for fever
and I haven't got time for you either
with your sticks n' stones, sticks n' stones
I take 'em home on my own

Runnin' with believers, go time for fever
and I haven't got time for you either
with your sticks n' stones, sticks n' stones
I take 'em home on my own

Sold My Soul To Bring The Rain, Maybe To Wash Me Clean...

I think of the one that I've become.
Left blind from the brightness of your Halo.
No one shines, like you do.

My filthy mouth and broken words.
This small disease that leaves me, crawling.
Crawling to you.

Crawl on the ground for cover,
staying close to the dark to keep from falling (falling),
from falling.

Sold my life to bring the rain,
maybe to wash me clean.
Sold my soul to stop the pain,
hoping you'd set me free.
All your fear, all your shame.
You know that you can lay it all on me.
That you can lay it all on me.

I took every chance to lash my tongue.
You wore the scabs just like an Angel.
There's something about you.

Horrible things that I have done.
Seems this disease is slowly spreading.
Start running, what would you do?

I crawl on the ground for cover.
Staying out of my mind to keep from dying (dying),
from dying.

Sold my life to bring the rain,
maybe to wash me clean.
Sold my soul to stop the pain,
hoping you'd set me free.
All your fear, all your shame.
You know that you can lay it all on me.
You know that you can lay it all on me.

Would you forget then what I said and how I died inside my head.
We're starting over, not pretending that the past is dead.

All the pain you'd feel you owned.
And times I've should have known.
Don't keep it inside, let it out and lay it all on me!

Sold my life to bring the rain,
maybe to wash me clean.
Sold my soul to stop the pain,
hoping you'd set me free.
All your fear, all the blame.
You know that you can lay it all on me.
That you can lay it all on me.

These lyrics are amazing, and just mean so much, i think it is brilliant such a rare gift when someone can write like this and i appreciate it more than anything

Good Work Bert ;)

Ears Pinned, Eyes Peeled.

Life

Life at the moment is good, real good =]

I have my friends, my health, a decent steady job and fantastic opportunities laying right before me.

So if i have no complaints why you ask, am i blogging? Because i believe it will be a breath of fresh air for whoever reads this to read a blog that is about the good, the great and the even better =D.

Music - the music in my life is brilliant, i have just bought The Used's, The Gallows and Enter Shikari's new albums, i have had them all for a good few weeks now, and i couldn't be enjoying them more, The Used have always been very close to my heart musically and i couldn't be more impressed with their new work, every song is brilliant and flowing into the next, they are comfortably similar yet unique and different to the previous, they come together to make the perfect album with soft piano and complex lyrics, hard guitar and anthemic chorus'. It is all i could ask for from an old favorites new release =]

My music is going well, then band, we have been writing and working for weeks now and it could not be going better for me, we are all agreeing, the ideas are flowing, we are having the time of our lives, making new, real and refreshing music, something that i think may get people sat up paying attention and asking questions, thats the kind of music i want to be responsible for, not just grabbing a guitar and writing some love song to get rich quick fame and girls, because all that is an empty nothing if it doesn't mean anything to you or anyone else, it needs impact, it needs to make people feel, be it happy, sad, angry, inquisitive, it needs feeling.

Work - I love my work, i get payed a decent wage, i work hard but with some fantastic people whom i can spend a whole day laughing and joking with, i believe if you can wake up in the morning and want to go to work, and come home and feel like you have had a good day with some better friends, and be getting payed for it, then you have won. My modeling is also going very well, after recently moving to a new agency the work is flooding it, castings here meetings there auditions in Liverpool, all exciting stuff, great experience and good to keep me on my toes, the most recent audition, in Liverpool, was one for a new BBC drama called Anubis House which is based on 8 teenagers, 4 boys, 4 girls; living in a boarding house together, the story follows their lives, loves and adventures. I woke up at 6am on Friday, got the 7 o'clock train from Witham station to London Liverpool street, took the tube to Euston and got on the 8:45 train to Liverpool Lime Street, a 3 hour journey, accompanied by my ipod and a book i set off. I arrived in Liverpool at 11:45 and took a taxi to Lime Pictures, a production company for the BBC currently on the rise after its roaring success' with Hollyoaks and Wire in the Blood, it is the production company behind many BBC hits and is a growing empire. I was very excited to have the opportunity to audition in front of such a prestigious panel and i met some brilliant people. I auditioned with a great bunch of guys and girls all very interesting and talented, it was a welcome break from most commercial castings, at which you sit in a room filled with people who look like you and hate you. The people at this audition where genuine, interesting and nice, we all talked for hours whilst we were in the waiting room between reads, it boiled down to 5 of us going for 3 parts, now im no mathematician but i make that over a 50% chance of landing this job =D. I will find out tomorrow if i have been cast for the part or not, when i get the call not only will i be discovering whether i have the job or not, but also i will be discovering the next 6 months of my life as i will have to move to Liverpool, on my own to film for 6 months, i will have to drop everything that is norm in my life right now, for something completely different and new. I cant wait! Fingers crossed.

Love - Love right now is as rocky as it has been and ever will be, love is never smooth, thats the point, we only love for excitement and hardship of it all. Have i ever been in love? Who knows, how do you judge it? I certainly don't know. There is a girl who i am mad for, she is brilliant, funny, interesting, genuine, unique, gorgeous and just perfect, she is, i would consider, a very close friend. She wont even give me a second look :/, it gets to me, but i don't get myself down over it, i value her friendship more than i value most things in my life, she means the world to me and i love her company and just being with her even as a friend. I know she means so much more to me than i do or ever will to her, but im okay with that, i guess i like the feeling of having someone that means so much, someone i can talk to and just smile, no matter what's going on, i will always talk to her with a huge smile on my face, i can see a picture of her and just be happy. I feel that if i can have that and her fantastic friendship, then i can handle her not requiting the feelings i have and me not meaning as much to her as she does to me.

In conclusion

Lifes good =]

So i will enjoy the ride and all it throws at me in these next few weeks.

Ears Pinned, Eyes Peeled.

Goodnight =]

Jack